Happy Halloween

So after that little motivational post I had this shit evaluated for appropriate "view at work or with family" content at the following site. These were the results:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• fucking (6x)
• shit (5x)
• bitches (2x)
• sex (1x)

Fortunately it doesn't pick up on the tittties.

Tally so far

Let's see her kiddies, been here since saturday morningn and have been on the "nopple" ever since. Out every night hangin with nerds can be taxing to the system (not to mention the wallet). So let's do a little refresher.

(5 night x 12 guiness a night) + (5 nights x 2 Jameson) = 60+10 = 70 drinks so far! I knew those silly nerds would rub off. I wasn't counting on my own math skills to come through anytime soon. Alas, one more night and a flight home, both equally dangerous.

SKIN SUIT

That's right boys and girls - skin suits. They make a guy my size look like a ham hock in a sweat sock. But there are certain skinsuits that look pretty good. Example:

Notice the bottle nestled comfortably between her legs. WE ARE EVERYWHERE BITCHES!

drink, drink, drink..

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nerds, nerds, nerds

So i came to Boston for AVS. That is American Vacuum Society. Calm down dummy, not house vacuums but chemistry and physics in a lack of atmosphere.

That being said, they gave me 8 drink tickets to kill in 1.5 hrs........I did not disappoint.

I fucking hated last night.

The only time I like to drink Sam Adams Boston Lager is in Boston. It tastes like shit everywhere else.

I fucking hated last night.

I have a ten minute down time before dinner and more drinking for the rest of the night.

I fucking hated last night.

Nerds ain't bad, once they realize they ain't getting any squish they start drinking. They begin to have fun and low and behold the opportunity for squich rises exponentially.

I fucking hated last night.

Nerd girls need love too.

I fucking hated last night.

Can you find the pattern?

And I wish I could check my fucking emails.

liver filed for divorce and it wants the kidneys

Uuuuggghhhh, so my plan went a little afoul from the beginning. Friday afternoon I was preparing for the flight to Boston. Stuffing shit into the suitcase that I might need. I am bad at this so it is always a crap shoot. I finished in record time so in my infinite wisdom I decided that I needed to get a beer to take the edge off the impending red-eye to Beantown.

Well guess who was at the Dray already. Yes, my favorite hair farmer Nathan. Needless to say by the time I got home for Pete-Nice to pick me up I was 6 deep in high octane. So Pete-nice get to the house early, like 2 hrs early. What is my resolve to this fuck-up. Hey! Let's go to the Dray. Bad idea. Lets make this short, both the check-in and security folk had doubts as to whether I was fit to fly. I made it though. Did not sleep one goddamn minute. Plan=failure.

So I get to Boston and have a cross between hangover/still fucked up. Great. No room yet available and when they did the precheck in, my card was declined. Not my fault, chick put security code in wrong. So checked the bags in and went to go for breakfast. Behold, the Pourhouse, yes that was the choice, the Pourhouse. I think I had 2 Bloody Marys i me before the food hit the table. Food comes and goes and so do 3 more BM's. Great 11ish, no more hangover, already on my way to getting shitfaced(if not already there).

So finally get a room after walking around for an hour. Unpack, drop a deuce and start to think where I am going to watch the game. Easy, McGreeveys. Excellent choice. After a short nap, get ready and head on over. Pete wanted to get some supplies(handle of Vodka) so he left me to my demise while he stocked up. Got that at 5 with a start time of 8, gotta have dinner yo. Guinness and Cottage Pie. helluva lot more of the later then former. First tab hits the table and it was food and about a dozen Guinness between Pete-nice and I.

Game time bitches. Met and Aussie girl at the bar and she decided to watch her first baseball game with us. Bad idea. It got to the point that we had the waitress bringing 3 more pints as soon as she put the new ones down. Game ends and we are just shit housed. Which is cool cause the Sox survived another day. Tab comes. Now you figure, a pint of Guinness is what? 4-5 bucks? Well the tab was $140. For nuthin but goddamn Guinness. I read it, or at least tried. Looked legit, I was so proud. Not bad for two drunks on a celebratory night.

Sunday sucked. I had 2 breakfasts and the obligatory morning hair of the dog. yeah, that really didn't work.

gonna have to work on over the next week.

A LITTLE FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I stumbled across the Spongebob movie last night which features one Mr. David Hasselhoff. I was a bit surprised he was still moving around under his own power. It didn't add up. A man approaching 100 years old in an international kids movie. Sure, we may remember him during the halcyon "Knight Rider" era-

But more recently he has been known for alcohol and drug fueled rages-

So am I nuts or does it not make sense that he is still in the public eye? I found out there was more to this than I thought.

Protecting me from myself

Thankfully, Gmail, in their wisdom, has created a system to protect me from myself. I have taken the test while inebriated and can say, with confidence, that it's a good safety net - but not as good as this.

The feedback has been mixed.

And then there is this. 40 seconds in and you'll see ours truly, Seattle PD chief, Gil Kerlikowske.

On the "other" front, the cross race is at South Seatac....................again. November 8th and 9th should be on your hit list if you know shit about shit.

I was lucky enough to get a little footage of McCain's top financial adviser prepping his candidate for a discussion on the economic downturn. And just when things seemed bad for McCain, this darkhorse came out of nowhere.

Now dance! 42 seconds into this, things quickly go sideways.

Fresh off the presses from the AP:

GREEN BAY, Wis. -A 33-year-old woman accused of stealing her daughter's identity to attend high school and join the cheerleading squad has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity.

Wendy Brown faces a felony identity theft charge after enrolling in a Wisconsin high school as her 15-year-old daughter, who lives in Nevada with Brown's mother.

According to a federal complaint, Brown attended one day of classes, practiced with the cheerleading squad and went to a party at the coach's house.

Brown also faces theft and forgery charges from an unrelated case, where she is accused of collecting money for an apartment she didn't have authority to rent.

She could face up to nearly 13 years in prison if convicted of all charges.

She can try out for the squad when she's 46. She'll probably stay pretty fit in the joint. There are MILFs and there are MILAs (Mothers I'd Like to Avoid).

I've gotta go get groceries with the little woman.

And here is our song.

Caught in the act

R.I.P. another cross course

Well ladies and jerks,

Say sayonara to another cross course my friends. Yes, Kelly Creek is not happening. It was left to the "lawyers" and they failed. Really who expected less. I guess it is gonna eventually come down to racing at South Seatac every damn weekend.



Bastards.........Yeah the happy little leprechaun says suck it!

North Sea Tac Woes

This is an old shot from around the mid to late 90's of North Sea Tac in the rain. They have closed this area as a designated wetland. We used to frolic in it and it was dubbed condom pond or condom creek due to all the neat stuff you could find floating along.

Anywhooo, the race went swimmingly well for about 6 minutes until my rear wheel committed harikari. I won't call out the manufacturer of the RD-400 rear wheel but it truly let me down. It is dubbed as a training / racing wheel. Perhaps they didn't mean cross cources with sharp angular sections of old houses jutting from the ground being piloted by a 200 lber with no finesse. You've gotta be specific about these things. So 3 spokes broke on the non-drive side and one on the drive side until I stopped. Amazingly, the wheel was still somewhat true.

Enough about diagonosing the patient, what was the cure to get this crap mobile ready for the race on Sunday? I headed to the basement of Recycled Cycles and went to work. The RD-400 comes with these cool light bladed spokes. Get rid of that shit ASAP. I requested 8 guage cast iron but only found some 14 guage stainless, round, good old fashioned spokes and put those babies in after cutting to the correct length.

Next up, nipples. Some folks take nipples for granted - not me. The RD-400 has a sweet light weight nipple that seats in a reversed fashion inside the rim. It has no slot so you can't use a nipple wrench but instead need a special "spoke socket". Yup, spoke socket. The proprietary spokes also have a smooth head to ensure you don't gouge the shit out of the inside of your rim.

I didn't have any of that shit.

So I grabbed standard brass niples. Just plain big hard nipples. Got them inside the rim and found something to clamp down and twist. The slotted head probably tore the hell out of the inside of the rim but I put it all back together and over trued all the spokes for good measure. After a thorough inspection and only noticing some preliminary cracks beginning around the spoke holes on the rim I felt prepared for the next day.

Just stop and fill up my growler on the way home at the local brewery. Run into a buddy watching college ball. Begin drinking Jameson and an 8.5 IPA. Call more people to let them know how they should be doing the same. Pass out on someone's couch by 8 PM. It just never quits up in this bitch.

Let's see.....

case of fat tire.....check
18 hours before race begins....check
case empty.....check
start in on the 18 of the rain dog.....check


race tomorrow....go fuck yourself

I think this should be part of the Las Vegas Tourism ad campaign.

I think i just threw up alittle

This Weekend

North Seatac is BACK! Come out and support the "other" local series and race on an old favorite. I remember when we had nationals there in 1996! One of our team found it necessary to streak the course in the pouring rain and cold and I took a 6th, finishing on a flat and vomited at the end. Ahhhhhh, the memories.

Then it's time to head to the South Side and hit up the other end of the runway. All within 1/2 an hour of the Emerald City.

Upcoming events

IMBA Sustainable Trails Training Weekend: Capitol Forest, WA - Saturday October 18 and Sunday October 19 2008. Check it out here.

Also, wondering what you want to be for Halloween. Well.................. howzabout a drunk on a bike?

A team event, a band, music and a bar that's open till 6 AM. That's right kiddies. Bring your big boy pants because this one usually stings a little.

This should get you in the right frame of mind.

Link Dump

Blogger is kind of nice because it's simple fer simple folks but it can't post a single post that has alot of photo / text / videos, etc. So here is some text supplied by our friends at Drunkcyclist to get your little brain juices flowing:

If you bought $1000 of stock a year ago, you would now have:

$91.28 if you bought Washington Mutual

$37.50 if you bought Neomagic

$21.29 if you bought Freddie Mac

$20.79 if you bought Fannie Mae

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the recycling REFUND… You would have $… 214.00 in cash.

So the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It’s called the 401-Keg Plan

Also, I'd like to recommend the LINK DUMP!

What do you get when you take one of the finest heavy metal musicians and one of the hottest South American beauties and put them in a blender? (Subtitles for the Gringos):

A masterpiece.

Everyday Normal Guy Part II (Better known as the Ballad of the Mercer Island White Kid)

And a True American Hero

And this should keep you preoccupied for awhile.

Photo Dump

Soooo................ I went to about 40 minutes of the Tuesday night cross practice. There were about 6 fellas out there and I got in some nice dismount and remount / run-up action. Slowly. Like an elderly drunkard. Here are some recent pics of the mighty blue and gold in action:

What's up G?

Check it

Hard Luck

Crosstober Fest

Here IT is, right in my backyard so I'm obligated to go flounder around the course for 45 minutes. The cold and the rain have returned so we should be in for a good event.

Beer Garden - check.
5 minute commute to event - check.

I'm there. And if that's not enough fun for yer simple ass go south to the land of tittie bars and full service gas stations.

A little cross practice

Sooooooooooooo................ I went to the first official cross practice of the year and lo and behold, our very own director sportif was in the house. Nicely done. And welcome back to the fold smoothy.
Now that we are done with that little horror show, let's get back to the adult action:
18+ ONLY

Also, a very good friend of mine is in Tanzania doing things he feels need to be done so if you don't know about it check him out at:
http://bustosbsblog.blogspot.com/
And some sad news from that region today:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/10/03/2380960.htm?section=justin