Bikies,

It is almost time for the 2009 New Year's Day ride. Will there be ice and snow or sunshine - maybe just a lot of rain??

Shake off the dust and mud and bring your bike out and start off the New Year with a bike ride (rain, snow or shine??). This is the 38th New Year's Day Ride. We all start at NOON from Enatai Beach (The Bellevue side of the I-90 East Channel Bridge) and head north towards Evergreen point and beyond... This a rather short (about 18 miles - it could be shorter for me if the weather is disagreeable!!) social ride. For most that is "plenty far" on the day after, but for some it is a nice warm-up for a little more exercise later on.

Many of you are too anxious and start a little fast!! Do try and stay talkable for the first 18 miles and then you can try the big ring..... That means easy on the flats and the hills – otherwise I will be way off the back........

See ya all there,

Jerry Baker

Unfortunately, this is probably someone that we know

Yup, it takes all types and I'm not gonna be the first to cast stones.

Awwright Chinaski

as
the junkies junk
as the alkies drink
as the whores whore
as the killer kill

the albatross blinks its
eyes

the weather stays
mostly
the same

Ride it like you Stole it

You little Creampuff

Race date: Sunday, July 12th 2009.
Registration opens: Monday, January 5th 2009, download form from website (include check for $246.00 U.S. dollars only), mail it in. Make check payable to Cascade Cream Puff, LLC.

If you were a registered racer for the 2008 race (and did not receive a refund, or partial refund) I will guaranty you a spot into the 2009 race provided I receive your registration by January 12th 2009. First Class U.S. Postal (snail mail) should get it to me on time. There is no need for expensive overnight mail!

If you did not race in the 2008 Cascade Cream Puff overnight mail might be a good idea?

Mail registration to:
Cascade Cream Puff, LLC
1689 Charnelton Street
Eugene, OR 97401

The race date has been pushed back to July in an attempt to be able to access the upper reaches of the Alpine Trail network. Last year we were shut out by snow! Oh, the weather outside is frightful…July is so delightful…so if you like single track flow…melt the snow, melt the snow, melt the snow.

The 2009 race course is yet to be determined but it will include the Alpine Trail (permit dependent).

If there is an additional event in 2009…? It will be mostly single track (approximately 85%). There will be plenty of climbing. It will be held in September…It will probably be an unofficial ride/race…? It will probably be self supported…? It may have minimal course markings…? Derrick & I rode the course last September…it was BAD ASS!

Please do not expect a response to emails for a while. It's the holidays and I have a lot on my plate right now. I do not check this address for Cream Puff stuff much. If you do email me please do so at scott@cascadecreampuff.com

The 2009 Cascade Cream Puff race should be as good, and or better, than any of the years in the past! Plan on another awesome event! Don't sweat the small stuff. Things are good.

scott

Yes, this season I delivered a preemptive strike to the Holidays hitting the pinnacle of heavy drinking and airing of the differences about a week early but with such focus and sincerity it was truly heartwarming. In order to prepare for the Christmas holiday itself I opted for a very special treat of an extensive shoulder surgery. The combination of the continuous pain and the heavy medication, along with being snowed into the hinterlands, have kept me out of trouble.

In my youth I would have squandered this special time of the year with bottles of alcohol (also known as presents) and the obligatory day of basketball. In my maturity I can assure you that there are only heavy pain meds and the obligatory day of basketball ahead of me today. The height of which will be when this angry little leprechaun heads to Hollywood to crush Kobe & Krew.
2 PM Pacific. Yup. Celtic Pride kids.

Speaking of angry leprechauns, evidently a drunken Cale McAninch was in attendance at Nationals and was taking his heckling to an entirely different level. When challenged by Page's brother in law, a scuffle ensued. Beautiful.

Speaking of Nationals, a local favorite - Trebon - went out and did his thing. Good for him. Certainly beats the shit out of last year's catastrophe. I first met him at a mountain bike race in Chewelah, WA as a young gangly kid banging bars with the fast guys. He was probably 15 or 16. Later in that season my bottom bracket exploded fantastically in Mullen, Idaho and he hooked me up with an extra. No money or support and still willing to help out. I've heard that sometimes good things happen to good guys. Whatever.


Also on the Nationals front, U-23 National Champ is none other than our very own Nick Weighall. That kid is gonna be a big deal in the cyclocross world.
And finally, the Nation knows very fucking well that 'cross was originated in Seattle and our Northwest backwater owns that shit. So be happy that in 09' & 10' we will be in Bend, OR for Nats'.

So, if you are not of the muddy set you may have been hoping for some creaking plywood 33 degree banks in the beautiful Burnaby velodrome for 6 days. Well, that shit was called off so relax and enjoy the track girl.


Please note that track girls more often look like this:

And as they age it just goes downhill...........

Merry XXX-Mas

Ho Ho Ho Indeed!

Winter is Upon Us

Now get out and ride you pussies!

Back to the Lower 48

Our favorite Mexican is coming back to the lower 48 States.

RIP Betty

Rest in Peace Betty. Thanks for all the hard-ons. When you see the boss downstairs tell him I'm not done fucking things up yet.

Clothes

So you don't really need to be a messenger or a hipster to have urban cycling apparel. If you have a certain type of clothes that you need to wear at work and you can't commute in the clothes you may want to think about some cycle specific clothing for said commute. In my scenario I have a fairly long commute that I don't always want to do because of lack of time or being hungover or.............. yeah, just being hungover really. So when I throw my bike on the front of the bus and sit next to that nice little old lady next to me I don't want to be in lycra / spandex / or any other "hamhock in a tubesock" material. I want to be in something that resembles clothing but that I can still ride in. Jeans and shorts are good for abit but if you're doing 40+ miles a day you will rub the skin off your nether regions in short order.

Many of these cycle specific clothing are Expensive with a capital E. I've got some Chrome kickers that are super comfy but cost an arm and a leg. A little known and excellent alternative is SWRVE Cycling Apparel. The Dynamic knickers are made from a material that’s stretchy and durable. Features like an articulated knee and seamless crotch make them more comfortable on the bike, as does the waistband that dips down in the front and stays high in the rear. The zippered rear pockets make sense for the urban rider, and the hip-mounted cell phone pocket is surprisingly secure and rather handy. The cut does seem to favor tall, thin people, so you may be best served buying them from a local retailer where you can try them on first

After months of regular use, I’ve got very few nits to pick with these knickers. The fabric shows almost no visible wear and the seams are all intact. One complaint is that the button above the fly zipper popped off after just a few weeks. True, I had been wearing the knickers three to five days a week, but it just seemed premature. Maybe it was bad thread, maybe my awesome gut could not be restrained. The other nit to pick is the $90 price tag. I got a significant price break, but you most likely won’t. Even at my cost, I could have bought a couple pair of pants and a six pack of PBR. But you get what you pay for, and in this case you’re paying for a high-performance specialty item that happens to put food on another cyclists’ table.

There is a God

Prost West Seattle is now open and ready for action. By action I mean passing out.

fuck this

I had 2 paragraphs of shit nailed own and it got dumped!! end of cyclocross year blog got fucked...screw you hippies.

eat a dick!

love ya,
-r-

Winter is Upon Us

So we have the last 'cross race of the year, Ye Old Kringle Kross! We also have some great weather for the roadie fags out there to head off to the foothills and see how 23mm tires do at high speeds on ice.
So if neither of these necessarily appeal to you and you haven't gotten your fill of night life in Portland (titties) you could do yourself a favor and catch a movie.
Of course you could always head down to Ballard for the Annual Drunks with Festive Sweaters Carolling and Guzzling Event to be follwed promptly by the Airing of Differences event which always provides great spectating. The "organizers" have deemed the route and the rules as follows and neither shall be questioned.

"OK all here is the route for this year:
The Bit
Bad Alberts
The Loft
Connor Byrne
Lock N' Keel
Kings Hardware
Hatty's Hat
Ballard Smoke Shop
Zedda Buddys
The Ole' Peculiar
Some changes were necesary to to "incidents" which have occured in the past.Zedda is on Leary, we will hit it obviously on the way to the peculiar. You know the rules I wont bore you. Just make sure you wear your damn sweater and invite whoever the hell you want."

It takes place on Saturday at an unspecified time in the evening.

Sports Scene

We are truly fucked now.

Long time no blog. My best mtb riding partner is in from out of town but moving on so fuck him. Cross nationals racing is going on in Portland - land of tittie bars. We have a full contingent of non-competitive fucks going down to wallow around to get dirty - good for them. I'm working (sorta) and moving to the beautiful West Seattle local so no P-town for me. West Seattle is devoid of hipsters and traffic, which is nice. My buddy had his moving party last night. I was unable to attend due to the fact I slept from 8 PM to noon the next day. Call it growing old. I'm sure they held the standard and probably surpassed it. Furthermore:

NEWS RELEASE

Gregory J. Nickels, Mayor

Timothy A. Gallagher, Superintendent

For immediate release November 14, 2008

Contact: Joelle Ligon, 206-684-8020

e-mail joelle.ligon@seattle.gov

PLANNED DETOUR ROUTE ON THE BURKE-GILMAN TRAIL Trestle Bridge repair required at University Village

Seattle Parks and Recreation is planning to repair damage to the Burke-Gilman trail trestle bridge at University Village, which crosses at NE 45th Place and NE Blakely Place. Construction is slated to begin on Monday, November 24, and will extend through the end of the year. Preparation for planned detours will begin the week of November 17.

During construction, the bridge will be closed to all pedestrian and bicycle traffic. Planned detour routes will be in effect, and will require trail users to exit the Burke-Gilman Trail prior to the work zone, and then re-enter the trail at the opposite side of the construction site. Signs will be in place to mark the designated detour route so pedestrians, bicycles, and vehicles can safely move around the construction zone.

Partial detours for pedestrians and bicycles will be in-place during working hours – from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., Monday through Friday -- and will be opened for evening and weekend use. Partial pedestrian detours are scheduled to begin November 24, and will change to a 24-hour-a-day closure schedule on December 1, and continue through the end of the year.

Expected detours for vehicles will be in effect at the same time, but under a 24-hour schedule, and will remain during all construction operations through the end of the year.

For more information, please contact Seattle Parks Project Manager Gary Gibbons at 206-386-1511 or email gary.gibbons@seattle.gov.

# # #

And then there's this!

So here's armstrog's blog. Everyone in cycling is masturbating to it:

http://twitter.com/lancearmstrong

Yard Sale

Soooooo................ You can love him or hate him but BuDu puts on races. Cooking in the Kettles is one of the best MTB races out there. Do yourself a favor and go.

Happy Halloween

So after that little motivational post I had this shit evaluated for appropriate "view at work or with family" content at the following site. These were the results:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• fucking (6x)
• shit (5x)
• bitches (2x)
• sex (1x)

Fortunately it doesn't pick up on the tittties.

Tally so far

Let's see her kiddies, been here since saturday morningn and have been on the "nopple" ever since. Out every night hangin with nerds can be taxing to the system (not to mention the wallet). So let's do a little refresher.

(5 night x 12 guiness a night) + (5 nights x 2 Jameson) = 60+10 = 70 drinks so far! I knew those silly nerds would rub off. I wasn't counting on my own math skills to come through anytime soon. Alas, one more night and a flight home, both equally dangerous.

SKIN SUIT

That's right boys and girls - skin suits. They make a guy my size look like a ham hock in a sweat sock. But there are certain skinsuits that look pretty good. Example:

Notice the bottle nestled comfortably between her legs. WE ARE EVERYWHERE BITCHES!

drink, drink, drink..

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

nerds, nerds, nerds

So i came to Boston for AVS. That is American Vacuum Society. Calm down dummy, not house vacuums but chemistry and physics in a lack of atmosphere.

That being said, they gave me 8 drink tickets to kill in 1.5 hrs........I did not disappoint.

I fucking hated last night.

The only time I like to drink Sam Adams Boston Lager is in Boston. It tastes like shit everywhere else.

I fucking hated last night.

I have a ten minute down time before dinner and more drinking for the rest of the night.

I fucking hated last night.

Nerds ain't bad, once they realize they ain't getting any squish they start drinking. They begin to have fun and low and behold the opportunity for squich rises exponentially.

I fucking hated last night.

Nerd girls need love too.

I fucking hated last night.

Can you find the pattern?

And I wish I could check my fucking emails.

liver filed for divorce and it wants the kidneys

Uuuuggghhhh, so my plan went a little afoul from the beginning. Friday afternoon I was preparing for the flight to Boston. Stuffing shit into the suitcase that I might need. I am bad at this so it is always a crap shoot. I finished in record time so in my infinite wisdom I decided that I needed to get a beer to take the edge off the impending red-eye to Beantown.

Well guess who was at the Dray already. Yes, my favorite hair farmer Nathan. Needless to say by the time I got home for Pete-Nice to pick me up I was 6 deep in high octane. So Pete-nice get to the house early, like 2 hrs early. What is my resolve to this fuck-up. Hey! Let's go to the Dray. Bad idea. Lets make this short, both the check-in and security folk had doubts as to whether I was fit to fly. I made it though. Did not sleep one goddamn minute. Plan=failure.

So I get to Boston and have a cross between hangover/still fucked up. Great. No room yet available and when they did the precheck in, my card was declined. Not my fault, chick put security code in wrong. So checked the bags in and went to go for breakfast. Behold, the Pourhouse, yes that was the choice, the Pourhouse. I think I had 2 Bloody Marys i me before the food hit the table. Food comes and goes and so do 3 more BM's. Great 11ish, no more hangover, already on my way to getting shitfaced(if not already there).

So finally get a room after walking around for an hour. Unpack, drop a deuce and start to think where I am going to watch the game. Easy, McGreeveys. Excellent choice. After a short nap, get ready and head on over. Pete wanted to get some supplies(handle of Vodka) so he left me to my demise while he stocked up. Got that at 5 with a start time of 8, gotta have dinner yo. Guinness and Cottage Pie. helluva lot more of the later then former. First tab hits the table and it was food and about a dozen Guinness between Pete-nice and I.

Game time bitches. Met and Aussie girl at the bar and she decided to watch her first baseball game with us. Bad idea. It got to the point that we had the waitress bringing 3 more pints as soon as she put the new ones down. Game ends and we are just shit housed. Which is cool cause the Sox survived another day. Tab comes. Now you figure, a pint of Guinness is what? 4-5 bucks? Well the tab was $140. For nuthin but goddamn Guinness. I read it, or at least tried. Looked legit, I was so proud. Not bad for two drunks on a celebratory night.

Sunday sucked. I had 2 breakfasts and the obligatory morning hair of the dog. yeah, that really didn't work.

gonna have to work on over the next week.

A LITTLE FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I stumbled across the Spongebob movie last night which features one Mr. David Hasselhoff. I was a bit surprised he was still moving around under his own power. It didn't add up. A man approaching 100 years old in an international kids movie. Sure, we may remember him during the halcyon "Knight Rider" era-

But more recently he has been known for alcohol and drug fueled rages-

So am I nuts or does it not make sense that he is still in the public eye? I found out there was more to this than I thought.

Protecting me from myself

Thankfully, Gmail, in their wisdom, has created a system to protect me from myself. I have taken the test while inebriated and can say, with confidence, that it's a good safety net - but not as good as this.

The feedback has been mixed.

And then there is this. 40 seconds in and you'll see ours truly, Seattle PD chief, Gil Kerlikowske.

On the "other" front, the cross race is at South Seatac....................again. November 8th and 9th should be on your hit list if you know shit about shit.

I was lucky enough to get a little footage of McCain's top financial adviser prepping his candidate for a discussion on the economic downturn. And just when things seemed bad for McCain, this darkhorse came out of nowhere.

Now dance! 42 seconds into this, things quickly go sideways.

Fresh off the presses from the AP:

GREEN BAY, Wis. -A 33-year-old woman accused of stealing her daughter's identity to attend high school and join the cheerleading squad has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity.

Wendy Brown faces a felony identity theft charge after enrolling in a Wisconsin high school as her 15-year-old daughter, who lives in Nevada with Brown's mother.

According to a federal complaint, Brown attended one day of classes, practiced with the cheerleading squad and went to a party at the coach's house.

Brown also faces theft and forgery charges from an unrelated case, where she is accused of collecting money for an apartment she didn't have authority to rent.

She could face up to nearly 13 years in prison if convicted of all charges.

She can try out for the squad when she's 46. She'll probably stay pretty fit in the joint. There are MILFs and there are MILAs (Mothers I'd Like to Avoid).

I've gotta go get groceries with the little woman.

And here is our song.

Caught in the act

R.I.P. another cross course

Well ladies and jerks,

Say sayonara to another cross course my friends. Yes, Kelly Creek is not happening. It was left to the "lawyers" and they failed. Really who expected less. I guess it is gonna eventually come down to racing at South Seatac every damn weekend.



Bastards.........Yeah the happy little leprechaun says suck it!

North Sea Tac Woes

This is an old shot from around the mid to late 90's of North Sea Tac in the rain. They have closed this area as a designated wetland. We used to frolic in it and it was dubbed condom pond or condom creek due to all the neat stuff you could find floating along.

Anywhooo, the race went swimmingly well for about 6 minutes until my rear wheel committed harikari. I won't call out the manufacturer of the RD-400 rear wheel but it truly let me down. It is dubbed as a training / racing wheel. Perhaps they didn't mean cross cources with sharp angular sections of old houses jutting from the ground being piloted by a 200 lber with no finesse. You've gotta be specific about these things. So 3 spokes broke on the non-drive side and one on the drive side until I stopped. Amazingly, the wheel was still somewhat true.

Enough about diagonosing the patient, what was the cure to get this crap mobile ready for the race on Sunday? I headed to the basement of Recycled Cycles and went to work. The RD-400 comes with these cool light bladed spokes. Get rid of that shit ASAP. I requested 8 guage cast iron but only found some 14 guage stainless, round, good old fashioned spokes and put those babies in after cutting to the correct length.

Next up, nipples. Some folks take nipples for granted - not me. The RD-400 has a sweet light weight nipple that seats in a reversed fashion inside the rim. It has no slot so you can't use a nipple wrench but instead need a special "spoke socket". Yup, spoke socket. The proprietary spokes also have a smooth head to ensure you don't gouge the shit out of the inside of your rim.

I didn't have any of that shit.

So I grabbed standard brass niples. Just plain big hard nipples. Got them inside the rim and found something to clamp down and twist. The slotted head probably tore the hell out of the inside of the rim but I put it all back together and over trued all the spokes for good measure. After a thorough inspection and only noticing some preliminary cracks beginning around the spoke holes on the rim I felt prepared for the next day.

Just stop and fill up my growler on the way home at the local brewery. Run into a buddy watching college ball. Begin drinking Jameson and an 8.5 IPA. Call more people to let them know how they should be doing the same. Pass out on someone's couch by 8 PM. It just never quits up in this bitch.

Let's see.....

case of fat tire.....check
18 hours before race begins....check
case empty.....check
start in on the 18 of the rain dog.....check


race tomorrow....go fuck yourself

I think this should be part of the Las Vegas Tourism ad campaign.

I think i just threw up alittle

This Weekend

North Seatac is BACK! Come out and support the "other" local series and race on an old favorite. I remember when we had nationals there in 1996! One of our team found it necessary to streak the course in the pouring rain and cold and I took a 6th, finishing on a flat and vomited at the end. Ahhhhhh, the memories.

Then it's time to head to the South Side and hit up the other end of the runway. All within 1/2 an hour of the Emerald City.

Upcoming events

IMBA Sustainable Trails Training Weekend: Capitol Forest, WA - Saturday October 18 and Sunday October 19 2008. Check it out here.

Also, wondering what you want to be for Halloween. Well.................. howzabout a drunk on a bike?

A team event, a band, music and a bar that's open till 6 AM. That's right kiddies. Bring your big boy pants because this one usually stings a little.

This should get you in the right frame of mind.

Link Dump

Blogger is kind of nice because it's simple fer simple folks but it can't post a single post that has alot of photo / text / videos, etc. So here is some text supplied by our friends at Drunkcyclist to get your little brain juices flowing:

If you bought $1000 of stock a year ago, you would now have:

$91.28 if you bought Washington Mutual

$37.50 if you bought Neomagic

$21.29 if you bought Freddie Mac

$20.79 if you bought Fannie Mae

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the recycling REFUND… You would have $… 214.00 in cash.

So the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It’s called the 401-Keg Plan

Also, I'd like to recommend the LINK DUMP!

What do you get when you take one of the finest heavy metal musicians and one of the hottest South American beauties and put them in a blender? (Subtitles for the Gringos):

A masterpiece.

Everyday Normal Guy Part II (Better known as the Ballad of the Mercer Island White Kid)

And a True American Hero

And this should keep you preoccupied for awhile.

Photo Dump

Soooo................ I went to about 40 minutes of the Tuesday night cross practice. There were about 6 fellas out there and I got in some nice dismount and remount / run-up action. Slowly. Like an elderly drunkard. Here are some recent pics of the mighty blue and gold in action:

What's up G?

Check it

Hard Luck

Crosstober Fest

Here IT is, right in my backyard so I'm obligated to go flounder around the course for 45 minutes. The cold and the rain have returned so we should be in for a good event.

Beer Garden - check.
5 minute commute to event - check.

I'm there. And if that's not enough fun for yer simple ass go south to the land of tittie bars and full service gas stations.

A little cross practice

Sooooooooooooo................ I went to the first official cross practice of the year and lo and behold, our very own director sportif was in the house. Nicely done. And welcome back to the fold smoothy.
Now that we are done with that little horror show, let's get back to the adult action:
18+ ONLY

Also, a very good friend of mine is in Tanzania doing things he feels need to be done so if you don't know about it check him out at:
http://bustosbsblog.blogspot.com/
And some sad news from that region today:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/10/03/2380960.htm?section=justin

Cranberry Lake

I was able to take a little time off today and hit an old trail that I grew to love even more, Cranberry Lake. If you make a day of it and hit heart lake as well as the Mt. Erie stuff you can spend 4 hours out there. It's low elevation, with the exception of Mt. Erie, and can be ridden all year long. It reminds me alot of B.C. riding as it has alot of exposed rocks. Check it:

http://www.bbtc.org/wiki/index.php?title=Trail:ACFL_-_Cranberry_Lake

Best beer commercial ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GH7bjIajc0A&feature=related

That beer is never going to last.

Labor Day Antics

As promised, training for cross continued. 18 of these little Gems later topped off with a little fine Canadian Mist and I went from this happy frolicking bastard:


To this:


And so it goes.

Meet the Team Rides

Here is a little link that will give you all the information that you would ever need to know about the largest organized groups of drunks on two wheels, the Recycled Cycles Racing Team. We are having a "Meet the Team Ride" on Sept 6th. They are always a little bit of a fag show but if you have a penchant for booze and you don't mind losing your teeth in an industrial park crit sprinting for a box of old Jogmate - well you sign your pathetic ass up and get with the program.

Alrighty Then

The Cyclocross season is upon us. Yup, it's too early but thankfully the weather sucks anyway.

Here you go kids..........
http://ascracing.org/

And here's another............
http://www.seattlecyclocross.com/

And another................
http://www.cyclocrazed.com/

And one more for good measure...................
http://cascadecross.com/#

I started my training last night by going for a two hour ride and then drinking Jameson until I passed out in a friend's yard. I'll follow that up with a long 3 day weekend of drinking at the beach. That should get me fortified...............